It’s not always easy to tell when your relationship with food has crossed a line. In a world that praises thinness at just about any cost, “clean” eating, and “bouncing back” after pregnancy, many other disordered behaviors can easily camouflage themselves as normal and hide in plain sight. 

Maybe you find yourself constantly policing yourself around food you feel you “should” or “shouldn’t” eat, feeling guilty after eating outside of your comfort zone, or worrying about what would happen if you were to eat a certain number of calories in one sitting. How do you know if your desire to eat healthier is disordered eating? Or if your difficult relationship with food has crossed into a serious illness? In this post, we’ll walk through the signs of disordered eating and eating disorders, what makes them different, and when it might be time to seek support.

Before we begin, I want to make sure to emphasize that you don’t need a diagnosis to deserve support or to want a better life for yourself. If you’re feeling stressed by food in any way, it doesn’t have to feel this way forever.

What Is an Eating Disorder?

It might help to start with a quick rundown of what makes an eating disorder a disorder, and not just a “way of eating.”

First of all, eating disorders are not a choice, and they’re not something people just do. They’re complex mental health conditions that often go unnoticed from the outside, even though they can cause serious physical and emotional effects. Eating disorders can affect people of any body size, gender, or life stage. And yes, that includes motherhood.

Some people are more vulnerable to developing an eating disorder due to factors like genetics, trauma, stress, marginalization, food insecurity, or other mental health conditions. But the truth is: no one is immune.

Clinically, eating disorders are diagnosed based on a set of criteria that help determine the type and severity. A diagnosis usually depends on how often certain behaviors are happening, along with how much someone’s thoughts, feelings, or beliefs about food and body are affecting their daily life.

Common eating disorder diagnoses include anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorder (BED), and avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder (ARFID). If someone doesn’t quite fit one specific diagnosis but is still struggling, they may receive a diagnosis like “other specified feeding or eating disorder” (OSFED), previously known as EDNOS.

What Is Disordered Eating?

In contrast to eating disorders, disordered eating doesn’t have a clinical diagnosis (nor is it taken quite as seriously, even though it can still be damaging). 

I often describe disordered eating as existing on the same spectrum as an eating disorder, but at a less severe or entrenched point. For example, someone might feel anxious about certain ingredients or try to skip meals to cut calories, but they may not feel fully consumed by these thoughts or behaviors. It’s still distressing, and worth paying attention to, even if it doesn’t meet the criteria for a formal diagnosis.

Disordered eating shows up in sneaky, socially acceptable ways. Maybe you feel guilty for eating “too much” after dinner and try to “make up for it” the next day. Perhaps you avoid carbs unless you feel you’ve “earned” them. Or maybe you’ve cut out certain foods because they feel “unsafe,” even if your body is craving them. Or maybe you’re constantly thinking about how to get your pre-baby body back, and it’s quietly draining the energy and joy from your life. These kinds of patterns may not seem extreme, but over time, they can really wear on your physical and emotional well-being. 

Because these behaviors are often praised as being “healthy,” “disciplined,” or “crunchy,” it can be hard to recognize when they’re actually doing harm. But here’s a hard truth: if your pursuit of health leaves you more anxious, more stressed, or more undernourished, it’s really doing the opposite of what you’re hoping for.

Key Signs to Watch For

While disordered eating and dieting don’t necessarily cause eating disorders, they can certainly create a slippery slope if someone is already vulnerable. Whether it’s disordered eating or an outright eating disorder, it takes a physical and mental toll. Here are some signs your eating may be disordered. (Not an exhaustive list).

Physical Signs

• Fatigue, even if you get enough sleep
• Irregular periods
• GI issues
• Low libido
• Feeling cold all the time

Emotional and Mental Signs

• Anxiety around meals or events where food is involved
• Guilt or shame after eating
• Feeling better or worse based on your food choices, the number on the scale, or the size of your clothes
• Feeling preoccupied with thoughts of food

Behavioral Signs

• Avoiding eating in a social setting
• Cutting out major food groups or skipping meals
• Chewing gum or drinking water to avoid eating
• Counting calories and stressing when you can’t track everything
• Constantly thinking about weight or “clean eating”
• Body checking or weighing yourself frequently
  

Eating Disorders vs. Disordered Eating: What’s the Difference?

So while there’s definitely overlap, what’s the main difference between an eating disorder and disordered eating? And what should you do if you think you’re struggling with either one?

The biggest difference comes down to severity, frequency, and the level of distress or impairment the behaviors are causing. People with eating disorders often meet specific diagnostic criteria that help providers determine the type and seriousness of the condition. That said, not all symptoms fit neatly into boxes, and diagnosis alone doesn’t determine whether someone deserves support.

While some eating disorder diagnoses include a weight criterion (for example, anorexia nervosa is often diagnosed at a low BMI), weight is not an accurate measure of the severity of someone’s suffering or medical risk. People can experience serious eating disorder symptoms at any size – large, small, or in between. In fact, less than 6% of people with an eating disorder are considered medically underweight [*].

Disordered eating tends to be more subtle, more normalized, and often even celebrated within wellness and diet culture. Think: intermittent fasting, detox teas, appetite-suppressing supplements, or cutting out entire food groups in the name of “health.” It also exists on a spectrum. Some people can shift their eating habits once they realize the impact, while others may feel increasingly anxious, trapped, or disconnected as they try to make changes.

Here’s what I really want you to hear: It is not your job to figure out exactly where you land on this spectrum. If something about your relationship with food or your body feels hard or painful, that’s enough. Your concerns are valid. You don’t need to wait until things get worse or meet some invisible threshold to deserve care. There’s no such thing as being “not sick enough” to get support. Recovery is for anyone who wants to feel more free.

When to Seek Support for Disordered Eating

If any of this is sounding familiar or resonating with you, you are not alone. It’s estimated that up to 50% of the population engages in some form of disordered eating behavior, according to the National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA). Far more than those who are formally diagnosed with an eating disorder.

And honestly, diet culture doesn’t make it any easier. From nutrition misinformation to companies profiting off body insecurities, to #skinnytok algorithms that flood your feed, it can feel almost impossible to tune it all out and choose to treat your body with kindness.

But here’s the truth: you don’t have to stay stuck in this cycle. You don’t have to spend your life chasing an unattainable goal, battling food anxiety, or feeling more and more disconnected from yourself.

You are allowed to seek support at any point. No “rock bottom” required.

If your thoughts or behaviors around food and your body are causing you stress, interfering with your daily life, pulling you away from your values, or raising concern from people who love you, it’s a sign that more support could help. And you deserve that support, no matter where you fall on the spectrum.

Healing Is Possible: Here’s Where to Start

So, where do you go from here? First, I want to acknowledge that reaching out for help is a big, scary, overwhelming step. But deep down, if you know that the way things are going for you with food is not how you envision the rest of your life, you can recover. The right kind of support makes the biggest difference. 

I highly recommend finding a team that can support you in repairing your relationship with food and body while also helping you build resilience to diet culture and our society’s obsession with thinness. Health at Every Size providers offer non-judgmental support and will never suggest that changing your body will solve the deeper issues at the root of your disordered eating or eating disorder. A dietitian, therapist, and an eating disorders-informed medical provider (ideally) is the ultimate outpatient care team that will provide you with the right amount of accountability, compassion, and guardrails to keep you moving forward (and have the resources to support you if things don’t move forward so easily). 

Your relationship with food matters, even if no one else sees it. If it’s keeping you from fully participating in the life you want to have or filling your mind with endless thoughts about food and your body, it’s worth addressing. There is no “sick enough” place you need to reach in order to deserve support (in fact, this is such a common myth among folks with eating disorders). 

The good thing is that if you’re reading this, you’re in a great place. I welcome you to reach out for any reason, even just to be able to talk things through in a brief clarity call. Learn more about my approach here.

Frequently Asked Questions